Every single time I do something, or accomplish something, or do anything noteworthy, I never really get a sense of accomplishment. I don’t really ever get that feeling of joy that I see other people get. I do sometimes, and it’s not that I’m not happy with whatever the newest accomplishment is. It’s more to do with that fact that once I’ve finished something I’m already moving onto the next thing. Mentally, I’m over a thing once it’s done, and so this leaves very little room for me to enjoy that victory.
I’ve often wondered if this is a common way to be. I realised over the last few years that it’s a by-product of ambition. Always wanting more, to be better, is a symptom of ambition. Dissatisfaction is the cost of being ambitious. It sucks because whenever you accomplish something, that many others can be over the moon about, you just smile, nod, and get back to work. Once I realised this I realised that there are loads of people in my life like this. Whether I’m subconsciously attracted to ambition, or whether it’s by chance, is irrelevant.
Ambition, as a general trait, is obviously positive. Being ambitious is a good predictor of success. It means you’re pro-active, and more than likely hard-working. However, ambition also hinders your ability to enjoy your victories. Although ambition helps you to achieve your goals, it rarely allows you to celebrate achieving them.
The rewards gained from ambition definitely outweigh the price you pay for being ambitious. I’ve made a mental note lately to actually take a moment and be happy when I achieve something. Whether this be exam results, new jobs, writing a decent post, or anything at all.
Somewhere along the way I got it in my head that it’s not okay to be happy for yourself, that it somehow comes across as arrogant or conceited. Sometimes you’re allowed to beam, and be happy and excited because you did some cool shit, and I think a lot of us forget that.
Be ambitious, but also take stock of how far you’ve come and celebrate the little victories, as well as the big ones.