I always say I don’t want a relationship. I don’t want a relationship. I don’t want one. I’m too young. There’s no point. Yeah, cool. I’ve been saying that since I was 17, it doesn’t cut it anymore.
There’s a common reason for why people choose to be on their own, whether they admit it or not. It’s a fear of being intimate, of putting yourself out there, giving one person the choice to either accept you or tear you to bits. That’s uncomfortable for people to admit, and I’m admitting it. I’m as afraid of being on my own as I am of being with someone. The fucking battle cry of the millennial.
I was so afraid of telling someone (anyone) that I had feelings for them that I just didn’t even bother, until recently. In the last 3 weeks, I told someone that I liked them, and guess what happened? It wasn’t reciprocated and it felt terrible. But it also felt GREAT, because at least I felt something. She didn’t feel the same way but at least I felt some way.
As a generation, we’ve become impressively good at feeling nothing. We can systematically say how we feel and instantly feel the opposite. It’s as impressive as it is unhealthy. How can you balance your brain’s chemistry if you’re constantly at war with what you want?
Look, I’ve finally come to terms with putting yourself out there. Not everyone will like it, but it’s hard to not be impressed. Tell the person you like that you like them. If it’s not that way for them, move on. Make your move. Take the shot. Order your Chinese.
At the end of the day, you’ll only be annoyed at yourself for not going for it.