In a lot of ways, we live in the most liberal era in the history of our species. We live in a time where, more and more people are comfortable with being themselves, are happier knowing and showing their truth. Daily people fight for equality and human rights in the social context. IT is clear that our society is opening up to more than just one walk of life. This is good and this is important.
That being said, it’s becoming more challenging to point out exactly where someone like me, a straight white man, fits into all of it. I’m pro-feminism, I’m pro-equality. if you are considering these issues in their purest sense. That purest sense being equality, not superiority. To be clear, I’m not denying that, both historically and in evolutionary terms, the male half of the species has been more dominant, for the majority. This may not be fairness or equality but it is the truth of our past. Now we’re entering a time where that is changing, where both males and females are beginning to coexist in equality and mutual respect. We still have a long way to go but we are getting there.
Pure feminism is good. I really believe that. However, being what I am, a heterosexual man, it’s hard to not feel resented at the minute. We’re painted with a very dangerous brush. We’re made to look as though all of us are deeply invested in sexism and misogyny. We’re made out to not respect women. It seems that all men are now considered to have the potential to rape, which I don’t believe. Don’t misunderstand me, some men are this way, and that can’t be acceptable under any circumstances. However, I can’t help but think that this is a campaign of gender-vengeance rather than gender equality. I commonly hear the phrase ‘Men will never understand what it means to be a women’ said in a way that suggests that this somehow a man’s fault. The reverse of that phrase is also true, but this is rarely addressed.
I feel that men are being resented in the recent present. Yes, there has been inequality, and yes there is still is inequality. I just don’t believe that the way to get true equality is to constantly bombard the male side with all the reasons they are bad. All this accomplishes is further adding to the resentment and divide that exists. We are all flawed in some way.
As a man, I’ve been told my whole life that there has been inequality between the sexes. That men get paid more, are treated better, are respected more. This idea somehow assumes that I am a bad person because of that fact. But I never chose to be in the position I am. I never chose to be male, I never chose to be in the more ‘dominant’ position. I woke up to it. I was born into a world where it was the norm and now it feels as though I’m considered a bad person because of that.
What’s even worse is that I’m terrified to voice this concern, this fear. Day after day, I read tweets and articles about how men act in the wrong way. Some times we do, there’s no argument there. Some times females do too, though. I want there to be equality. I want there to be a day when being male or female has no fucking influence on anyone’s opinion of anything. We’re getting there, slowly, but we are getting there. I’m just afraid that we’re painting anything that’s male as the ‘villain‘ to get there.
Equality means fairness for all. We all have to be on the same level playing field. In my mind there’s two ways of achieving this. You can either break the ladder of the side that’s ‘Up’ until both ladders are the same length, or you can build one ladder up, so that both are at the same high point. There’s two ways to level out, and right now, it seems as though we’re choosing to bring one side down instead of raising the other side up.
As I said I think Feminism is good. I think it’s good if it stands for making genders equal, not if stands for making females better than. I know that for the majority of the history of human kind, men have considered themselves better than. It’s undeniable. The answer to this isn’t to punish the men of today, it’s to give them a chance to bring about the change so many of them stand for. However, it’s hard to be a man today, when everything we do is called into question. You shouldn’t be sexist simply by being a man. You shouldn’t be ‘less than‘ simply by being a woman. Both sexes need to learn to understand the other because this fight for equality is only dividing us further apart in 2017.