I always intended to do good, to be better. I’ve never vocalised this. I’ve never vocalised that I want to make my parents proud, that I wanna make my brothers proud. I’ve never said out loud that all I ever want is for the people around me to be happy. I remember telling my mom when I was 17 that I wanted to help people. I didn’t know how to do that then, and to a large extent I don’t know how to do that now. Nevertheless, that believe has held on, and it will hopefully remain there.
As powerful as I believe words have the potential to be, I feel like intentions are nothing without some action to back them up. Good intentions are so easy to have. Goals are easy to set. Putting in the work to achieve your intentions is what’s hard.
At some point, everyone, whether you care for them or not, EVERYONE is going to question your intentions. They’ll ask why you did the things you did. See, it’s easy to intend to do good, but it’s even easier to ignore your intentions and do the wrong thing. It’s in our nature. That’s why it’s important to question your own intentions, question why you did the things you did.
We all have two versions of ourselves. There’s the ideal you and there’s the real you. Your intentions act as a map to getting to the ideal version of yourself. So every time your actions don’t line up to your intentions two things happen. First, people see right through your bullshit and know that your true reason for acting wasn’t positive. Secondly, every time you act out-of-sync with your aspired intentions, you go off road, you lose your place on the map, and you stray further from the ideal version of you.
None of us will be here for forever, but your memory could be. You could affect people so meaningfully in your life that, even after you’re long gone, they still talk about you with reverence. I don’t believe in an after-life, but I do believe we all die twice. The first time is when you exhale for the last time, and the second time is the last time your name is mentioned. We all have the chance to make that second-death stretch out indefinitely if we want to.
Intentions are everything. Good or bad, intentions are the blueprint to each of our legacies. Having said that, anyone can intend to do good, to excel, to be better. Intentions only manifest in action, and action is the only thing that solidifies your memory.
**I wrote this after listening to ‘Gemini’. A similar theme ran throughout the album.