So I Had This Dream: The Zombie One

This seemed like a good idea. I mean it’s not like I couldn’t think of anything to write so I panicked and did this, I’m not that desperate for attention….

Okay, so I had this dream last week. I’ll just describe it and then, maybe if you’re lucky, I’ll explain why afterwards, so behave. It all starts normally enough, woke up blah blah… suddenly I’m in the car stuck in traffic listening to some shitty music and then BOOM (well not really that loud) an emergency broadcast cuts in. There’s a fucking Zombie Apocalypse going down and I’m a sitting duck in traffic. Luckily, it’s a dream so it skips ahead to like months after the whole zombie thing starts. (I guess this means I survived).

Anyway I’m looking like a classic survivor. Clothes ripped and shit (but in a cool way) and I have like a ripped off sleeve wrapped around my head like a bandana type of situation (but again, it’s totally badass). Now, what I find out here is that this isn’t your every-day-run-of-the-mill zombie movie. Oh no. Apparently, you can’t tell who’s a zombie and who’s not. Everyone acts fucking normal. As in, nobody is walking around looking brain-dead as shit moaning and being confused by doors and stuff. Like, at this point I’m pissed, how is anyone supposed to survive or have a fucking normal life. You’re best friend could be a zombie and you wouldn’t know? Fucking trust issues through the roof.

But back to the dream, you go full on classic zombie if you get ‘triggered’. Now here’s the best/most stupid part. The trigger is anyone laughing. So if you’re a zombie-person and you hear someone laugh you go full on zombie mode and eat the shit out of them.

Yup.

So, people who don’t laugh are probably zombies and if you’re not a zombie you have to be really careful not to laugh because there could be a dormant zombie lurking around that’ll fuck you up if you giggle at something your friend did on snapchat. Needless to say the dream ends with me and the crew being absolutely ravaged by zombies because we couldn’t hold it in anymore. C’est la vie.

Now why the fuck did I write this down and tell you this? Well, because I think there’s a nice, simple moral to this dream:

If you can’t have a laugh life is absolutely fucking shit. (Plus zombie movies are really fucking predictable).

Until next time!

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